I think about the months of waiting…
Longing to meet bubs…
Not knowing exactly what to expect but excited to be able to finally hold your newborn treasure..
Then come the sleepless nights, the hazy days and the extra washing, etc. You settle into a haze of sleep deprivation and tiredness. Although I was blessed with a quick feeder (I would be up for 15-20mins tops overnight with Tilly…feed, nappy change, burb, feed, burp, bed) & an excellent sleeper (Zoe slept 7 hrs through the night from 1 1/2 weeks old), I still have hazy days and sleepless nights.
Just on Sunday after a few nights of the girls waking constantly overnight with bad dreams and teething I found myself curled up in a ball sobbing on the dining room floor. Too tired to deal with another ‘mum, mum, mum’, too tired to deal with another ‘i’m hungry’ 5 minutes after being fed & too tired to have the energy to think about what else we could do just so that the TV wasn’t going all day long again. I just needed a break, a breather to refresh myself and my energy. Time to find space in my head to see through the fog and look for the good again. Thankfully an early night and some sleep has helped and I can again see the beauty in my ‘job’ again.
I can look past the moments
and see the delight of motherhood
I can see the beauty
and once again thank God that I have been given this opportunity to be called ‘Mummy’
I know there will probably be more days like Sunday and more sleepless nights and hazy days but for now I am treasuring the gift of time that I have with my girls while I have it and am enjoying the delightful journey that I have been given.