The roof is caving in

Just like in life when you fall

When all else fails just grin.

A smile does a world of good

And just to yourself

It makes others feel like they should

That they are worth great wealth.

So when you are feeling all alone

And have commited another sin

Just remember this little poem

And when all else fails, just grin.

Like the time your boyfriend said goodbye

Or you are left without a friend

Dont left let a tear get near your eye

Or it’ll be the end.

Just sit and take a deep breath

And smile to yourself

And remember in much depth

That you are worth great wealth

Much more then treasure or money

Is the habit you are indulging in

That whenever trouble comes your way

When all else fails, just grin!

Jesus’s Love written by Jodi Corby on 2/9/97 age 17

Pencil shavings

Shaved off with a knife

Just like the years

Shaved off our life

The pencil gets shorter

The years role on by

Our lives getting shorter

Destined to die

Still we live on

Taking each day

Where have we gone wrong

We’re destined to pay

To die is our part

In the result of sin

So open your heart

And let Jesus in

He’ll fill the part

That was made just for him

And you’ll live forever

So put on a grin

Repent and be glad

Your life will not end

Never be sad

Cause He’ll be your friend

He guides and He loves

So you don’t have to pay

He already does

When he died on that day

A day that was sad

And full of tears

But he never was bad

All through those years

So now we must be thoughtful

And live our lives proud

That Jesus was merciful

And will come in the clouds

In the clouds way up high

I’ll meet Him there

So never cry

Cause He really does care

He cares very much

What goes on below

If only we could touch

I’d never be low

So as your life goes on by

And you accept the white dove

Remember never to cry

‘Cause you have Jesus’ love!

Sometimes I wonder if I’m really being who I am or how I am supposed to be. I wonder if I am doing what God planned for me. I wonder if I am wearing what I should be wearing, or saying what I should be saying. I wonder a lot.

As a teenager, I talked a lot (nothings changed… my Mum says I talked the most out of all of her children…and she had 7! ), I smiled a lot, I laughed a lot, I joked a lot, I wore farm clothes ( I LOVED my stetson, boots and flanny), I wore vintage clothes (flares pants and bell bottoms suits right out of my mothers cupboard from the 60′s and 70′s), I loved all things old (my sisters always told me I was born in the wrong era… I should have been born in the 50′s, 60′s or 70′s!).  But as I grew older, I feel like I have lost a bit of my carefree self. I guess this happens with age. We grow up. We mature (not that I was never a mature teenager…I was always the ‘sensible/reliable one’).

We try to fit into the mould of how we think we should be. I became a teacher (read sensible, corporate like clothing), I got married (to a man who didn’t really appreciate my vintage clothing choices) and began life as I thought I should live it. I threw out a lot of the things I loved. I bought new clothes and tried to fit into the life I thought I should be living.

I once asked my Mum what she had wanted to be when she grew up… she replied ‘A housewife’. I often thought about this answer and all that it entailed. I used to think that maybe she had wanted to be something else but had so many children that she then HAD to ‘just’ be a housewife to look after them all.

I guess before I had my own children I didn’t really think much about what having them would do to my career, to who I had become. I suppose I thought that maybe I would one day teach again as I loved teaching. Shaping the lives of children, spending hours with them everyday, helping them to learn and being excited at their progress. Little did I realise what a difference having my own would make.

I never want that career for myself anymore. It frustrates me. It feels unnatural and I feel sorry for the children there. I still teach casually but I don’t enjoy it like I used to. I feel frustrated when the children misbehave and I can’t ‘train’ them easily (being there for such a short amount of time and they know teachers are fairly powerless over them really). I can see the rewards of training in my own children and can see what that ‘lack of training’ for so many hours in a day can cause a child to be like. I see how tired the children get throughout the day and how ‘brain fatigued’ that can get yet there is so much in the curriculum to try to fit into their lessons and into their day. I see children who just want to sit and cuddle or who just want to play outside and explore and burn off their energy but are confined to the perimeters of the designated curriculum. I just want to say to them…lets forget about this anti bullying program and lets go climb the trees outside or lets go dabble or feet in that river… things I am restricted in doing as a teacher. Maybe God never actually planned for me to teach in schools but was preparing me for something else. For my real job in life.

I guess all of this boils down to a change in my mindset. A change in who I thought I was or wanted to be or who I had to be to realising that I am not that person anymore. I have come to realise that I don’t want that boxed in self that I turned into. I want to be more like who I was. More like who I think I really am. I want to embrace my inner self. To wear the clothes I enjoy more and not be worried about how others will judge me. Decorate how I want to decorate and not try to please everyone else. I want to encourage my children to embrace the carefree nature that they naturally posses. To not try to box them into a world of shoulds.

I have always wanted a bigger family. I originally wanted about 4 children. I have to come to realise that I wanted a big family to give my children what I was given. To show them the life that I loved, that I lived. I thought I needed lots of children to teach them the values that I was taught. I have since come to realise that this is not the case. I can teach my children what they need to be taught whether I have 2 or 4 (and my family is complete with 2).

The more I think about it, the more I want to homeschool my children (or Steiner as second resort). Maybe this was what God was preparing me for all along. There is a season for everything. I’ve been through my season for being a career women. Now is my season for being a mum. I want to be able to share in their joy and excitement as they learn and discover. I want to be able to enhance their strengths and encourage their weaknesses. I want to be able to say, you know what, I can see that you’ve had enough… lets go outside and climb a tree (something you can more easily do with 2 then with 24!). I know that this may not happen (hubby needs a little more convincing) and I will accept that if thats what the future holds as that will be a new season to explore and enjoy. (To be honest, I am also a little scared at the prospect… the idea of being in charge of my childs whole learning is a little frightening. As a teacher I could always see the benefits of children changing classes as what one teacher lacked, another made up therefore creating a balanced education). However, I can’r shake the thought. I have faith though that if this is what God wants for our family, he will see that it happens (lots of prayers and faith in his will).

This year could be Matildas last year at home. I hope it isn’t but I also know she is ready for more. She asks constantly when can she go to school as lots of her friends are headed that way. I don’t want to throw her into formal education yet as I think she is still too young and I don’t want to kill off her enthusiasm before she is actually ready to take it all in. I need to engage her more. To spend more time encouraging her creative play and interacting with her.  I want to  be more engaged in her world and in her learning. To help her embrace her childhood.

I guess I’m just wanting to write down some of my thoughts and goals for this new year. For 2012. These are some thoughts showing where my mind is at and where is wants to be. Praying for a joyous year filled with fun, memories and living a wonderful, carefree simple life

I found this recipe here

So this is my version.

Take your yummy Strawberries (I used 1.5 kg).

Remove the green tops and wash them.

Add them into your pot along with:

Seeds of 2 vanilla pods (Throw the beans pods and all in for the boiling part but remove them before you mash it all up).
10 1/2 ounces (450 grams) sugar
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice
dash of salt

Mush it up. I used my metal potato masher but it was still a little too chunky for me so I ended up using my bar mix for a bit. Don’t forget to leave some large chunks of yumminess. Put on a medium heat to bring to a gentle simmer and leave to cook for about 4 minutes. Using a ladle remove the scum from the top and leave to cool.

Place in sterilized jars.

This mixture made up this many jars!

Store your jam in the fridge.

Note: My jam turned out a little runnier then I would have likes. Perhaps I should have cooked it a little longer or perhaps it needed a little more lemon (I used 2 tablespoons). It did make delicious strawberry topping though and eaten on Ice-cream or yoghurt, it is divine!

Enjoy! Be sure to let me know if you make some too!

xx

Could she be really getting to that age already? She asks to sit on there but she doesn’t do anything. It’s all about exposure just now and getting her used to the potty and not afraid of it. No rush. summer is coming and everything will happen all in good time I just wanted to share how cute the little poppet is

We have been two weeks without a car now and they are saying it will be another three weeks for repairs to be completed. Having no car is a pain but also a blessing.

It is a pain when you need to go grocery shopping, but thankfully I am blessed with amazing friends like Dannii who come and pick me up and take me shopping to all the good cheap shops
It’s a pain when your baby has a birthday and you can’t get to the shops without her to but her a present, but thankfully I have an intelligent and giving husband who suggested I take a Taxi. I’d never been in a Taxi before. Can you believe it, 31 years old and never caught a Taxi It was great to be able to go to Kmart (Thank God for 24hr Kmart) and shop for a while on my own. It did cost me almost $25 just to go up the road and back but it was worth it. I felt so much better after choosing her a little something for her special day.
Having no car is a pain when you need to go anywhere further then you can walk or in a direction that the train doesn’t go. Thankfully I have a push bike and a bike trailer the girls can ride in so we could use that when we really needed too.

It’s a blessing to have no car when you really think about it. We were able to spend more time at home. More time together baking in the kitchen (I so love baking). More time exercising to go places. I have been hard saying that I find exercise difficult because it has no purpose for me (besides exercising). When I was younger, I exercised a lot, just in normal daily tasks… walking to the bus stop, walking around the cows, walking down to see Dad working down the paddock, visiting my cousins etc. Now exercise is usually only done because I need to exercise so it was a blessing to exercise for a purpose again I haven’t felt the pressure to be places when I really needed to be at home.

On Thursday we picked up a hire car. We would have picked one up sooner but our Insurance company told us we could hire one for $15 a day for up to 10 days. We couldn’t really afford to hire one for longer then that and were planning a family holiday. We didn’t want to hire one too soon and be left with no car when the holiday time came up. After hearing from the repair place about the time frame for repairs, we rang our Insurance company back to speak about the hire car again. Two weeks with no car was manageable, but 5 weeks was asking a little too much. It turns out (that they forgot to mention … so glad I spoke to a different person this time) that the Insurance company of the other car involved has to pay for our hire car anyhow! Why didn’t they say that in the first place when we asked!?!

(Other Car involved… they came out a little worse then us).

Anyhow, frustrating as it is… we now have a hire car so are mobile again

So yes, Zoe turned 2 yesterday. She is growing so fast. She is saying a few more words now and is saying a few more clearly. She still LOVES her blanket and sleeps with it always. She loves to pat it with one hand while she sucks on the thumb on her left hand. She is developing such a fine little personality. I love it when she blabs away in her own little language then laughs big open mouth laughs like she has shared the best joke. So cute.

So here are a few pics from her special day -

She opened her pressies in our bed in the morning.

She spent the day riding her new trike and running around in her new flashing runners (which I think just may have been her favourite present).

We headed to a local park in the late afternoon to enjoy a casual dinner of hot chips with some family and friends and of course, the cake.

It was a lovely day and a lovely celebration for such a lovely little girl.

She will be 80 next month. Man I love that woman. She’s always so much fun. She has a great sense of humour. Always making jokes. She has always been so accepting too. Always helpful when she can be. It’s been really difficult to see her health decline over the last 12 months or so. The girls and I will spend the afternoon hanging out at Nan’s for two reasons. Firstly, we love hanging out with her. Secondly, this will give Uncle David a break, an afternoon to get out.

I guess I should pack a few things for the kids to do while we are there.

Tilly is suggesting we-

* Bake for Nan
* Play with play dough
* Watch cartoons
* Play with the toys at Nans
* Take a backpack with toys to play with

Looks like our afternoon is going to be full of fun and games

Japanese paper lanterns painted with Cherry blossoms.

I’ve been teaching again this week. I have an ongoing casual position teaching grade 3 art and I really enjoy it. I was a little worried to begin with as I have a class of 24, 16 of them being boys. Yep that tells you why their regular teacher wanted someone else to teach art. Think messy, noisy, active boys. However, I love it! I am always so proud of what they produce for me. They are always surprising me with their talents and with their kindness. I love that class already. Isn’t it funny how kids have that effect on us?! They drive us crazy but make us love them all at the same time.

I guess my own kids are a bit like that too. Tilly has this way about her now. She will drive you barny with her actions and then turn around and say ‘I’m so sorry Mum, do you forgive me?’ It’s so sweet and cute and melts my heart straight away.

Maybe God built kids this way, to keep us on our toes